A few weekends ago, D and I’s friend, P.K, was in town At this time in his life, he is applying to Graduate Schools (that poor lucky devil) for an extremely focused major that only accepts 1 out of 10 people. P.K is a brilliant guy and any school would be lucky to have him in my opinion.
(But putting my bias aside, he is still a great and talented guy.)
And the next day, he texted D a message that looked a bit like this:
“When we were young, I thought that we would all end up being great and glorious . But we’re all just normal.”
Not inspiring, not history making.
It’s weird because I have come up against this thought as well in my 23 years of age due to the fact that I am still in college and living with my parents . And yet, these facts aren’t crazy new because there are many people my age (or a older) who are either still in college, still living with their parents, or doing both.
I think what has hit me the most is that I’m not doing what I thought I would be doing.
(No shit, Nancy Drew.)
I had a plan for my life, like most ambitious youth. And then I fucked that plan up. So now instead of jet-setting the world with Pharrell Williams, I am working at my local library and living at home………..not the life I dreamed. Believe me.
(Dream Hard or Go Home!)
But this idea of being a “special snowflake” didn’t really resonate with D in that way. She has more of a realistic mindset that isn’t really caught up in this idea that everyone can be Zuckerberg, the Carter-Knowles family, or Oprah. Or even that everyone is going to go and help to bring clean water to impoverished nations or do other charitable acts. She realizes that feasibly everyone can not be “special” in that way because then how would the world run.
I feel like P. K and I knew this as well, we just felt like we could be the exception, which sounds completely cocky and vain when you think about it. But all my life my parents have told me that I could be great or that I had the ability to do great things when I became an adult. And now I am an adult and it feels like I should be doing these so called “great things” but hell, every road I thought of taking has decided to break away at my feet. So now I’m standing here on a sliver of earth wondering…
WHAT THE HELL IS NEXT!
Maybe this is just a thing, people in their twenties go through. It must be since every twenty-something year old you see in media is full of confusion. Hell, almost all of my friends (if not all by now) are going through a Quarter Life crisis. Is this just what happens in your twenties? Why is there no T-Swift song about how confusing our twenties is?
(It’s not that she is a good singer or song writer but if any artist is bound to make a song like this, it is her.)
I feel like this post just got super whiny and for that I am sorry. But I just had to let my angst out somewhere and you, the three people who read this blog seemed like a good place to go and vent. But let me know down in the comments if this is a normal way to feel in your 20s or am I just being a giant complainer.