Seems it’s that time of the year again. The time of year where I go out into the dating pool, attempting to meet people, and end up playing “Marco Polo” with myself until Fall. Oh, how it fills me with joy to waste my warm months on people I will only speak to for three weeks before we simultaneously get bored with each other. I’m so excited, I’m figuratively bursting at the seams with joy.
But yes, I said that I would come out of my dating hiatus in Spring….and it is Spring (hopefully! Because this winter time can kick boulders with dynamite shoes on. Seriously.)
I guess this is also the time to preface this with the fact that I am going to leave OKC — OK Cupid for those who don’t online date–alone this time. While OKC is great for some, it and I have not had good luck. Basically, we aren’t right for each other and are going to see other people. While this in no way impacts OKC, it does mean I will have to use actual money and get a subscription to e-Harmony. UGH!
But yea. I guess that will be the next thing I attempt to do as I just back on the dating horse.
So as I try to rev up the ole ” going on dates with men you like is fun and you should take full advantage of it” engine, I want to talk about this thing that happened.
I had the whole “I don’t find dark skinned girls attractive”
Sadly this is not the first (nor the last) time I have had this conversation. This seems to happen every once in a while, either online or to my perfect, beautifully dark face. And, of course, guys basically say the same stupid shit:
“Black females are so bossy and nosy.”
“They are too loud”.
“I just never find any of them attractive, you know.”
“Black women only want thugs…they don’t want a good man.”
“They are so violent and jealous.”
JUST…..I don’t under…..you really are so…….
There use to be a time (like ten minutes ago) when this whole ” some men, especially some Black men, don’t want to date Black women” thing would get me really upset like….
But now, I just realize that those are the types of guys I wouldn’t want to date nor be around in the friend capacity. Black people aren’t a monolith. So unless you have dated every woman on the face of the Earth, your “preference” is just stupid and full of fail. Not all Black women are like that, just the Black women you attract and then decided to date. Maybe you need to do some soul searching instead of being a whiny jerk-bot.
But then he tried to flip it on me and say
“Well, you wouldn’t date Wesley Snipes would you?”
Wesley Snipes’ color is not what is wrong with Wesley Snipes. Wesley Snipes has said some problematic shit in the past that makes him undateable. Just because I read books, like rock and folk music, and am a self-proclaimed “Neo Hipster-Yuppie”, doesn’t mean I don’t date black men. I date men I find attractive and interesting. Period.
Yes, through online dating I might end up dating someone outside of my race, but that is due to the fact that the majority of the few (and yes I do mean few) that will contact me will probably be white. ‘Tis how the cookie crumbs, sadly.
But anyway, he’s a dumb ass and will hopefully learn to either stop being a dumbass soon or just be a dumb ass away from me. Because I am not standing for anymore of this bull.
But that is all. Hopefully, the sun will melt the block of ice that I call my heart so that the dating can commence. I also hope that he has really cute pets. That will make everything better.